Nicola Morgan's 4 tips for supporting teen mental health

Anxiety and stress are not problems
Mostly, we feel anxious or stressed because there is something to feel anxious or stressed about. Adrenalin and cortisol suffuse our body, prepping us for action. That’s good when action is needed: for a test, performance, challenge, or danger.
Problems come if we too often feel anxious or stressed when there’s no need. That’s common – but still not an illness (though it can occasionally become one). It just requires practising a few easy (honestly!) strategies. My book No Worries offers so many that you can feast from a rich menu and build tools for your whole life, whatever age you are.
Some people need therapy but most don’t
The vast majority of the young people you will come across are not ill. A few are and they need professional help. But most, including some you may think are, aren’t.
They may be very distressed, but that doesn’t mean they’re ill. We can respond to someone’s distress by wrapping them up and not expecting them to thrive. Or we can offer them empathy with respect, showing them that we believe they can thrive despite their challenges, their fears, their feeling of helplessness.
When we ask the question, “How do you feel?” we must be careful how we do it and what we do with the answer. Feelings are an immensely important signal. But they are not always best responded to by focus and rumination; a better response is very often to acknowledge the feeling, then get on and do something: living, not dwelling.

Avoid avoidance
When we fear something we know we should do, the worst response is to avoid it. We never become less fearful by not doing the thing we fear.
We become less fearful when we learn to do it, to manage and reduce negative emotions around it. Public speaking is a good example, as most people find this nerve-racking. You only ever become less nervous by doing it and doing it again. You learn powerful truths when you tackle what you’re afraid of. You learn that you can; you experience the benefits; you feel good about yourself. You feel better and stronger. You are better and stronger.
Helping young people rise to their challenges may be the greatest gift you can give them. Rising to your own challenges is the greatest gift you can give yourself.

Look after yourself before you look after others
It’s that old adage about putting on your own oxygen mask before putting on your child’s. As teachers and as parents, you are giving, giving, giving. This means you quickly exhaust yourself and do less of a good job. So your first duty is to nurture yourself.
My best advice on this (and you can do this with young people, too) uses the image of keeping your “body battery” charged. Some things drain your battery and others charge it. We all have a pretty good sense of whether our body battery is high or low and a pretty good sense of what will recharge us. For some that might be having a laugh with friends; for others it might be having time alone, for a walk, a bath, reading a book, listening to music. But every day – several times – ask yourself, “How is my body battery and does it need charging?” Then act on that as soon as you can.
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